December 24 – Everything’s OK
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
There was a moment for my professional life, but I won’t get into that.
Rather there was this moment:
We were on different planes that night, attending a birthday party at a huge lounge with a DJ. I really wanted to get to know a new friend and meet new people, extent my professional career. He didn’t want to be there, not with the loud music, drunken people, and lack of any light. But it was expressed in the worst way possible by the both of us.
And so we had a discussion, not a productive one. I considered the reasons why…and the deeper ones. I was dropped off at my place as he went to find parking. And the whole time—I was plotting my next steps—the demise—perhaps it wasn’t meant to be, leaping to conclusions. Because I had my goals and he had his in social situations. They didn’t match.
But the moment? It wasn’t any of those moments. It was the moment he returned. Just like all the other moments that it was going to be ok. It was a silent, unrelenting hug while I spouted my frustrations and challenges. He wouldn’t let go.
And he wouldn’t cry. Or at least not in front of me. What I didn’t know was that night after he dropped me off, he started tearing up silently as he drove trying to find a space in the hard-to-park Mission. His eyes were red when the cops pulled him over at a DUI check. Rattled by our discussion, he couldn’t think clearly, but they eventually let him go.
And he returned. We haven’t had a discussion like that since.