Sometimes the answer is:
Them saying no.
There’s this saying that it’s easier to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
It has been always in my nature to hesitate to ask for (or just take) something that is not clearly mine. Rules are the definitions in my world. I don’t want to impose. I don’t want to be seen as dependent or needy.
And yet, when I am able to have someone do it for me, it’s a relief.
Last Sunday, I broke the straw in my avocado smoothie (by impulsively chewing it). But I hesitated to ask for a spoon. I was more than 150 feet away from the truck where I got the smoothie, waiting at the train stop. There was a group BBQing nearby.
“Go ask them,” both Joe and Chris chorused.
I immediately felt a sinking rock. I hesitated and walked in a circle, wondering how I was supposed to drink this smoothie was nearly like ice cream. I flailed about trying to “drink” it, but carefully to prevent it from falling on my face.
“Go, they’re just right there.” Joe said. “I’ll go ask.”
“No!” I exclaimed and finally walked over.
The BBQ group didn’t have a spoon and eventually I went to the truck where I asked for one.
I walked back. Both Chris and Joe were impressed that I finally got it.