I had a friend once. He amused me to no end. Not in a romantic way at all. But I was intrigued by the stories that he would tell me. The dramatic philosophies of life. I liked his energy and determination.

I would call him. Hey, let’s grab dinner! He would agree.

Then one day, I stopped calling him. A year later, I realized that he never called me. By that time, I realized how shallow our friendship was—it was only an one-way street.

How sad to realize that now.

And looking back on my calendar, I am the one who asks, initiates. Sometimes, I wonder—maybe they’re just being nice.

“Let’s do lunch sometime!” an acquaintance says in an appropriate moment in the conversation—as both of us are leaning toward goodbye.

“Oh yes, let’s!” I respond and a moment of hesitation overcomes me. When? Where? Is this going to happen?

This is where I want to blurt out—how about next Wednesday? Noon? I’ll choose. But I let the decision fall silently back to our minds, perhaps putting a mental slot in our calendars—keep a lunch open for us.

But yet what about the times when an invitation is really a polite courtesy? An invitation is a sign of it was great seeing you again, but I only said lunch because it seemed like an appropriate way to say goodbye. It’s so much more better than saying “See you later.”

I am a closer. I hear the lingering indecision. I want to make it happen. In the last week, I have heard lunch, dinner, concerts, cat visiting, parks, bread bakery visits, bike rides but the decisions linger. And then about a year later, when we pass again, it’s why did that never happen?

You pick up rose-colored glasses. Looking through them, the world appears rosier, pink…perhaps happier. A weight is lifted off your shoulders. Clarity, perhaps. Life…is better.

Yet the world hasn’t changed at all. The bus still costs $2 to ride. Your latte will still be made the same way. The homeless man at the corner will yell the same obscenity. And your mom will still call you at the most inopportune times.

And yet is it the same?

There are moments where I sit staring at the same words, same images. I am thinking—then I have a realization…a great moment of clarity. Oh yes. Subtlety, my behavior changes, but the world continues as it always has.