Changing for others

“I don’t want him to change for me,” my friend lamented about her current boyfriend over the sangria at a restaurant with dark red walls in the Mission tonight. “Because it’s unfair for me.”

“And for you too,” another friend added. She nodded.

But isn’t that what relations are about? We are supposed to adapt to the changing environment, but how much do we change ourselves to take the next step? How often do you break the naivete of the world to discover there has been something great around the corner but you never thought to turn pass the last foot.

But for my friend. It was about the inability to adapt. Both ways. In the end, it’s what we feel comfortable with. We want to try new things but only if it’s within our comfort zone. How many times do we put ourselves out there outside our comfort zone?

3 thoughts on “Changing for others

  1. Don’t we usually enter a relationship either 1) wanting to be changed by the person, 2) wanting to change the person, or 3) wanting to change something (not necessarily about yourself) together with the other person?

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