If this was a moment in college, I would documented it endlessly without forgetfulness. But today…years later, I am more caught up in the moment. Yet I am still so…easily shaped by anxiety.
But today sadly wasn’t full of geekery or saving the earth. Instead it was full of these three words:
There was a terror I had felt about six years ago when I looked at the parents in the swimming pool club next to my house. A typical day was going to Target…getting the kids to eat…going for a walk…making dinner…sleep. The idea of it still makes me want to flee. But not as much as it used to.
Coworkers always think that my weekends are constantly full of adventure, escapades, non-stop activity, people. I deliberately made it that way. It’s always someone’s birthday. It’s always something that I am hosting. A scavenger hunt perhaps. A trek up north, west, east, or south. Relaxing not usually in my blood.
This weekend, I only said that I was getting a haircut and my coworkers were surprised. But later my weekend morphed into going out for every meal with someone. A casual laid back party. A lunch out with friends…and dinner with another group. And “training” jogs. And cat-sitting. It was packed. But here I am, like nearly every night, back at my computer, typing this for posterity’s sake. Just like I have been doing for almost the past 10 years.