December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful
When I was 13, I was not shy about meeting people online (unlike IRL). I talked to everyone from people younger than me to people who were older than me. Back then, there was no sense of danger…but I found talking to older people to be boring. In some way, I always thought that I was superior—I was someone who could string words together and naturally questioned everything.
There was a thirty-something male that said, “Your words are lyrical.”
I didn’t know whether it was intended to “flirtatious”, but I interpreted it that my skills were stronger than his.
For years afterwards, I wondered why my words pulled people in. In college, there were people who became entranced with my writing. What was it? It was not my appearance. I showed people my blog/journal and they would read it incessantly. What was it?
Was it my naive observations? Or the innocent projections that I had in the world?
About 5 years ago, I started on a small project as an anonymous blogger. It was here that I threw in my deeper observations—the observations that I could write about without an impact on my everyday life. It was here that I wrote about pain, suffering, disappointment, and hope. I wrote purely about my own perspective and laid it out in words. I was surprised that I gathered so many followers, who followed my “lyrical poetry”.
Was it because I was unafraid of expressing myself? In my candid way?
During the last week of undergrad in spring finals week, I ran into someone I knew as we had exited the library. Jason. He and I had a huge falling out right after freshman year. We made small talk as we slowly walked in the same direction toward our apartments. I said things my usual way, questioning and prodding. As we walked, I could see him smiling in the dark, shadowed by the street lights. I asked why…why me, why are you still speaking to me, after I had treated him so badly before.
He said, You’re—you’re—. And he paused, trying to find the right words, just…different.