And I have the time to get to know someone…

I can’t help but look for how deep they are, how they think, how they approach lives.

But I also notice how I am pushed toward certain subjects or pulled away from certain subjects. I notice how well the conversation flows. I notice their sense of risktaking, their anxiety, their agreeability.

I notice how they push me into confession, how they let me put a wall up, how my levels of generosity fluctuate. I notice all of this.

Most of all, I notice whether they judge or accept me. And vice versa.

Once, I was told that it was a dance. The friendship dance. To let a little in to see if the other person will play well. But I have this horrible habit of opening the door quickly. To anyone. I let people in. Then if they prod too deep, I shut them. I am a tester. Secretly.