“Lean in!” she declared

“So, lean in!” Sheryl repeated during her interview with Marc the Salesforce CEO.

She turned and smiled at the video cameras and the audience over 1000. “Lean in.”

For the past 30 minutes, she regurgitated her book. Her stories, her snippets sounded rehearsed. In the fact that they never quite answered the question. Marc asked about her success, about any insecurity, and more. But she used every question to pitch an idea from her book. The fact that women can’t be called “aggressive”. The fact that she started a project that said “what would you do if you were not afraid?” The fact that men should just pitch in doing laundry.

Well, besides the last one, I wondered what she was trying to do. It was obvious that she was just speaking about the book, in hopes of spreading the word rather than sharing her own personal stories and directly answering the question.

Sometimes I wonder if my insecurity comes from my struggle of being feminine—being quiet, submissive. When I catch myself being loud and demanding, I am suddenly afraid. Will people not respect me? Will people like me less? And that last thought stays with me, killing any enthusiasm for the reason that I spoke up and leaned in.

I know that there are times that I can be harsh, perhaps even cruel. Yet, would I feel the same if I was male?

But for now, I will lean in.

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