A few days ago, I read a sad secret about how someone felt their relationship was more like roommates than of a couple.
But then again, assuming that roommates are close, is that so bad? Is the insinuation that a couple must constantly have passion, must be full of lust for each other, and must be so ever so integrated?
*spoiler alert if you have never watched House of Cards*
After being spoiled by friends over and over again (stop it, you guys!), I forced myself to finish both seasons of House of Cards. And suddenly, I was in awe. It wasn’t the scheming or manipulation. It wasn’t the endless ambition to Frank’s political goals. It wasn’t the drama within the White House. It was the marriage of the Underwoods.
I would like to have that ideal marriage, Claire and Frank. The “ruthless pragmatism” appealed directly to my Asian frugal sensibilities. It’s not lust that I seek. It’s love and respect. Although I am not seeking power, I am seeking a partnership. A place where we work together toward a goal. Where we share the same value system. Most of all, although I do believe “we always talk to each other”, I was impressed with the line “we never avoid each other”.
I know that it’s a fictional relationship. But is there nothing more powerful than having the number one ally? An ally who would sacrifice themselves for your end game? And how you would do the same? And when you hit major challenges, you get angry and your partner gets angry and you spar, saying things like “figure it out”. There’s no shaming, no guilt-tripping. You send texts with the words, “It is done.” There may be angry moments and manipulation. But then you share the challenges and the nightly cigarette. You say, “We have worked so hard to get here. You and I.” Then the moment comes, and your eyes tell the truth. Your partner comes over and hugs you. You say, “We did it.” You always include the word “we”.