This is the funny thing. For the majority of my life, I rarely suspected that I was treated worse because of the “groups” that others perceive me to be a member. So is that why I rarely noticed any racism or sexism? Is that why I always thought it was about me?

In some way, I wonder if my obliviousness protected me even as it burned inside. In the thinking that the reason that I wasn’t invited…was simply not because of my personality, my strengths, and weaknesses…it was because of my ethnicity or gender. But I never knew? And so I blamed it on something that I thought that I could control.

And so in obliviousness and perhaps deep self-centeredness, I worked hard to overcome it. Even though my beliefs pained me thinking that I could never overcome who I am.

And yet, in the last few years, I have realized that it’s something more. It’s not about me. It’s about the groups that people naturally associate me to be part of and ridiculous assumptions result. So if I don’t drink, does that mean I am not fun? So if I am female, does that I mean that I am afraid of big scary monsters and difficult to solve puzzles? Untrue and untrue.

So I wonder is that why it seems that I don’t quite understand why so many people are repressed? A counselor once suggested that I was deeply afraid because I was often the only Asian in my class. I opened my eyes and gave a confused look. “The only Asian? I thought that it was all because of me. I really believe that it’s about me.”

Whatever the class, I am not a second-class citizen. I am a first-class citizen. So there!

(Public Service Announcement: Cyclists are not second-class citizens. They are first class citizens.)