I gasped for air today when I woke up

It was a nightmare. Someone extorted me and manipulated me to give up everything. My identity. My life. My people. I was alone at home, waiting for others to return. But then someone came to the door. I made a bad call and let the person in.

Afterwards, I felt violated and lost. Sure, there was sympathy. But then there was the feeling that it was my fault. I was to the blame. That my life was so different. I felt my heart ripped apart.

Then in the middle of the night, I woke up from the nightmare and gasped for air. Letting the softness and comfort of reality wrap me. What the details were drifted away from my fingertips and eyes so quickly as if it never happened.

Yet, the feeling of horror and violation stayed with me. In reality, I felt that I had more control of my life. More perceived control, at least. So I closed my eyes and willed happier dreams to return.

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