“Let me add you on Facebook!” I said.

It was the easiest resort. She was a friend of a friend or a friend of a friend of a friend. So finding her was easier on Facebook. Rather than being regulated to email only or phone number only. Isn’t this what cool kids do nowadays? I thought to myself. Because quite naturally, I wanted to be cool.

There was this tinge of anxiety that pricked me: what if it turns out to be this awkward one-time add. And then we would drift in each other’s social media spheres without ever touching again? It would be so much like the times that I added someone “because we could go on bike rides together!” or “let’s hang out when we’re back in San Francisco!” But the inertia was lost.

I wanted to make sure the inertia was not lost. And after all, we weren’t dating. It’s NOT a romantic relationship. It’s two people collaborating. And I knew for a fact that we each both had our own significant others. So it felt good.

But then I sent the message to initiate. And then nothing. I saw the “Seen” notification show. I waited one day. Two days. Three days. And then…

Like many in this digital age, many things ran through my mind:

Which obviously became…

It was annoying how I could feel myself transform quickly. As I wistfully saw Instagram and Facebook updates. All I wanted was collaboration. All I wanted was that. I would look at those posts, and it bugged me. Admiration turned into fear. Fear turned into hate. And I absolutely hated every post.

But I know myself now. I can see the path of my emotions. Some would call that maturity. I call that $3000+ worth of mental health and exercises. So I took deep breath and thought what’s the worst that can happen? If I do nothing, nothing happens. If I ask one time, there’s a likelihood that nothing happens. But there’s a chance that something will happen.

So I took the leap and asked. It happened. As for her posts, they’re cool again.