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2015: Everything’s OK

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

In 2014, it was when I wrote a well-crafted piece (that I read to a live audience 11 months later). In 2013, it was when light shone in the face of despair. In 2012, it was when I stood up for myself. In 2011, it was a moment of clarity, sincere belief and friendship. In 2010, it was an action of commitment.

In 2015, it was the moment that I realized that I could finish Ice Cream Travel Guide. I am not sure if it was the moment that I put the last words to the page (perhaps on the Caltrain). Or was it the moment that I finished the layout and found myself super motivated to finish the layout. Or the moment that I found out that the hardest part was over (the writing). The easiest part for me was the design, the layout, the website, tech management, logistics.

I remember what Steve Almond once said. He hates writing all the time, especially during. The best part of writing for him is when he finishes. That’s the best part for me too. When I look back and say, hey that’s amazing.

But the fact that I was able to finish all the writing, the editing. That this year, nearly all off it, I gave up all the fears that I had about the book. I was afraid that people would see me as a bad writer. That fear paralyzed me so much that I didn’t do anything. But oddly enough, I forced myself to read many books. In a mixed way, I realized that many writers are pretty bad. So I couldn’t possibly be the only one.

After all, it’s supposed to be about “good enough”. Am I proud of the book? Yes. Could I have done more? Absolutely. But the moment that I accepted that it was “good enough” was the moment that I stopped being afraid and the moment that I knew everything’s ok. After all, a bad book doesn’t kill anyone, right? Although one of my nightmares the last few years was that I would die before the book was published…and that would be the worst thing ever.

Everything’s ok.