This was 2012

Pulled apart by my choice
I stood alone
Anything to grasp
To feel unbroken
And there you were, and you said
Open palms for friends
But my heart desired more
More of what I had before
And so I said okay

Letting the mud drip
And dry on my shoulders
Weighing every step
But I never noticed
Because I thought
That’s how to feel normal again

I asked you to help me through
But you said no
And we reversed to the age of four
Crying, going low
Swing fists, hurting hard
Apologies given and forgotten
Stingers unremoved

Then in an email sent
I wrote “Thank you and I am sorry”
And the words stopped
And then the pain stopped

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