I still believe that I am an introvert by nature. When I was younger, my inability to speak (normally) prevented me from socializing that well. In home videos, you could see me being mute, shaking my head when someone spoke to me. I was happy being silent and quiet. But through middle school and high school, I felt like I was missing out. I didn\\’t like not being part of the group, being an outcast.<\/p>\n
So in undergrad, some could say I went through a major change. I made friends easily. During those 4 years, people viewed me as the hub. The Jenn portal, one person said. I knew many people. I got to know them well and always naturally bought together. Despite all of that, I still had more online friends than people in person. At work, I relished the social life. I felt like I had a place. Yet, I still kept to myself. I went home on the weekends. I spent most of my days in my room. What social life I had was talking online, eating an occasional lunch with friends, talking to people when I ran into them at Soda Hall or class, or seeing the occasional movie.<\/p>\n
And now in graduate school, in my second year, for whatever reason, I have been labeled an extrovert. Yes, I should do away with labels. It\\’s so strange that people say that I am \\”extroverted\\”. Is it because I am \\”managing\\” two projects? In particular, in one project, I make plans for the team and am the liasion with our contacts? Is it because nowadays my desire to get something done is greater than my anxiety of speaking up?<\/p>\n
This guy wrote about how to go from introvert to extrovert<\/a>. But all it reminds me is when I spent a lot of time reading Dale Carnegie\\’s How to Make Friends and Influence People. I have a love-hate relationship with people. I hate how they can take away all my energy and can influence how I feel. But I love how they provide so much insight, so many things I never thought of.<\/p>\n I am still afraid to participate in large groups. I still get an awful awkward feeling after talking to someone new after one minute. I still get a horrible knot feeling when I have to ask a customer representative for help in a store. The idea of sending a dish back to the kitchen horrifies me. And I still have trouble asking people for directions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I still believe that I am an introvert by nature. When I was younger, my inability to speak (normally) prevented me from socializing that well. In home videos, you could see me being mute, shaking my head when someone spoke … Continue reading