It was not there.<\/p>\n
It was not there.<\/p>\n
It was not there!<\/p>\n
IT WAS NOT THERE!!!<\/p>\n
Slowly, I tried to breathe calmly, but my anxiety took hold. Then in a swift moment of fanatic frantic-ism, I pulled everything off my shelves and shuffled through everything, shaking my books in hopes that it will fall out from the pages. Where is that blue\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
Oh maybe it was in my bags of papers. I got my bags and emptied them out on the floor. The knot grew in my throat even as I noticed papers that had gone missing.<\/p>\n
I looked up at Chris who was leaving for the post office in near desperation. He assured me, “When I come back, I’ll help you look for it.”<\/p>\n
As he left, I swooped through my room. One by one, I checked each of my books and tossed them out into the hallway. Then I cleared the floor, tossing all the junk back into the hallway. I grabbed my empty bags, checked all the pockets, unzipped the zippers, shook them and threw them in the hallway.<\/p>\n
It was not there.<\/p>\n
I looked under my bed blindly reaching in the darkness. Then I looked through my file folder of important documents, searching, shuffling through the papers, willing to give myself a paper cut.<\/p>\n
I was frantic. Twenty minutes had passed and he had not returned. I was getting irritated. Why wasn’t he back yet? He said he just needed to mail something! Then I realized that my displeasure was misplaced. He couldn’t come in and make everything all right. It was missing! It was my fault! He could only do as much as I could do. Why was I being dependent?<\/p>\n
I continued, looking through every inch of my room, threatening myself for being so idiotic. At one point, I realized that I may have left it at a firm. Could I have been that stupid? Then checking my calendar, I realized that I may even have brought it to a place that I was volunteering at…that day. But I recall being super careful. How could I? What would I give for something not to be missing?<\/p>\n
It was not there!<\/p>\n
He finally came back and instructed me to go through everything. I would take the inside. Outside in the hallway, he organized everything into stacks. The checked and the not checked. My anxiety was high so I made a large pile of things checked and another large pile of things unchecked.<\/p>\n
At one point, he reached into my shelf and found it. My passport.<\/p>\n
“Um, wasn’t that the first place you checked?” he asked as I hugged him in relief.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It was not there. It was not there. It was not there! IT WAS NOT THERE!!! Slowly, I tried to breathe calmly, but my anxiety took hold. Then in a swift moment of fanatic frantic-ism, I pulled everything off my … Continue reading