“When are you getting married?” Vikas point-blank asked me last night. “All my Chinese friends are getting married.”<\/p>\n
I laughed in response, because as a result of attending friends’ weddings and massive reunion planning<\/a>, I had been thinking of how my ideal wedding or celebration would be. Perusing etsy<\/a>, Wai-Ching<\/a>, and Off Beat Bride<\/a>, I already had ideas for the food (BBQ), grand entrance (not normal), drinks (not just an open bar), flowers (not live)…<\/p>\n I know some people (obviously) female who have been planning their dream wedding since they were 6. I wasn’t like that…<\/p>\n But despite my planning and idealizing, I believe that such a celebration should be reserved when I have enough money. And when I have figured my life out\u00e2\u20ac\u201dhappy in career, network of friends, and living location.<\/p>\n The question I need to answer first is: Can you be happy alone?<\/p>\n When I can easily say yes, then I know I am ready for the next step.<\/p>\n It’s a question that my grandparents asked me and I brushed it off quickly, assuming that they asked because they wanted grandchildren. I said simply when the time is right.<\/p>\n Obviously opposed to Prop 8, I saw this article<\/a> recently\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthe idea that a (straight) woman refused to marry because it’s just an institutional and religious thing. In some way, I agree. I don’t need society to tell me what marriage is. But it’s a hard and fast term. At one point during an interview, the hiring manager suddenly told me that there were two people on the team that were married. I was surprised, unsure what that meant. Of commitment, of dedication, of limited time at work?<\/p>\n What the article really is referring to is the legal term or marriage\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthe tax benefits, the automatic citizenship, the legal right to hospital visitation, etc. Sure, I agree…I believe that any commitment should have those rights.<\/p>\n Why does marriage have to be a heavy and loaded term? I have a relative that had two wives\u00e2\u20ac\u201dright when the world was starting to look down upon the idea of multiple wives.<\/p>\n Why is marriage necessary? Why would the lack of marriage lead to separation? And what is the difference between a marriage and a commitment ceremony if only the former is commitment with legal benefits? Why not just have a court marriage then?<\/p>\n But regardless of all that, I will wait until I am ready (and have that extra 30k ready to spend). In the mean time, I’ll plan out my wedding party and guest list. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “When are you getting married?” Vikas point-blank asked me last night. “All my Chinese friends are getting married.” I laughed in response, because as a result of attending friends’ weddings and massive reunion planning, I had been thinking of how … Continue reading