I saw an invite to a day in Napa Valley. A day out with the girls<\/i>, it read. Drinking wine, etc etc. Perhaps throw in a facial, mani-pedi, and a massage.<\/p>\n
I was terrified. I imagined myself, trapped in a world that I don’t belong. Awkwardly talking to other girls as they drank wine and casually asking…no, just a bit more polish.<\/p>\n
A few weeks ago, I had a meeting with a female colleague and I heard about her exploits with her girlfriends. The trips, the shopping, how much fun it was. <\/p>\n
And then I realized how much I preferred going out with the guys to a super-low-brow movie with beer drinking or a monster track rally where I would enjoy myself watching boys get riled up over crushing metal. When I think of shopping, I feel much more at home in an electronics store than a makeup counter or purse rack.<\/p>\n
Was there something wrong with me? My last time at a salon made me feel small and inadequate, perhaps because I didn’t know how facials work or the tsk tsk<\/i> of the beautician as she looked at my face. Or that time at the MAC counter when I so naively said that I didn’t know how foundation worked when out of embarrassment, I spent $40 without thinking just so that I could leave the store. There’s a mixture of social anxiety there, but I never felt at home being feminine.<\/p>\n
And yet the idea of hanging out with a group of girls I don’t know or hanging out with a group guys i don’t know…it’s most likely I would choose the latter. What would I talk about with girls??<\/i><\/p>\n
It’s not that I am a tomboy in any way. I am not coordinated enough for sports\u00e2\u20ac\u201dI have a slight disinterest in throwing stuff. But I love tagging along with the boys\u00e2\u20ac\u201dseeing the immaturity, observing the absurd masculinity…and ultimately not feel like I am “competing” with them.<\/p>\n
On Sunday, a friend was appalled to find that I had no female best friend. I haven’t had one since the 7th grade when the BFF was only let’s-compete type. Of course, there’s my sister. But who do I tell about my relationship issues, the PMS issues (what I still claim I do not have), etc? The same people who happen to be the opposite gender. <\/p>\n
Harry is wrong because sex never gets in the way. Only whether they are as good at using Google as I am.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I saw an invite to a day in Napa Valley. A day out with the girls, it read. Drinking wine, etc etc. Perhaps throw in a facial, mani-pedi, and a massage. I was terrified. I imagined myself, trapped in a … Continue reading