Last summer, I commuted to my internship every day with this guy who didn\’t own a car. I was happy to do so especially when he agreed to pay me in gas and even BART to Lafayette for my sake of not driving to Berkeley which would have been out of my way. And the following year (our senior year in Berkeley), whenever we saw each other, it was only a mild glance, a hi. No real small talk. I always felt that he was rather superficial. And that he couldn\’t help it, his personality was the kind that only made friends on the surface. Little depth and the like. Fake questions such as \”what\’s up?\” or \”how was your weekend\”.
To my surprise, he was one of the instructors at the id tech camp where I provide technical support. But we don\’t really speak. Just a nod of acknowledgement. So this is how things come to a standstill? This is exactly the reason why you can\’t be friends with everyone you meet. Besides, would you really want to?
A few weeks ago as I was walking to my car, a male voice suddenly called out behind me \”HEY JENN!\” I turned around and saw that it was my old suitemate–my suite neighbor who endured a life-changing experience of i-got-a-regents-scholarship-to-berkeley-and-i-was-eecs-but-i-rushed-for-a-frat-
and-nearly-got-alcohol-poisioning-and-now-i-lost-the-scholarship-and-my-social-
life-has-changed-and-i-got-drunk-all-the-time-but-recovered-and-now-i-want-to-
help-people-so-I-study-psychology-but-then-I-decided-American-Studies-is-better-
and-now-I-want-to-be-a-teacher. He was fun to be around, the little time we spent with each other. And back then, he ironically observed (a week after my boyfriend then and I broke up), \”You and your boyfriend are perfect for each other. You two look good together.\”
I remember feeling the everpresent numbness coming over me and responded, \”How would you know?\”
He just smiled and replied, \”I just know.\”
I never held it against him. It was the fact that we never reached that level of connectedness. And the same goes with so many other people I know. We may remember each other, use each other for superficial purposes, but then…that\’s it.