It seems always strange to me how I come to Carnegie Mellon and I still…consistently meet asians. Not only are all my housemates (well one is hapa) asian, but also the people I know in my program and the undergrads I have met are all asian. (Personally, it\’s probably a psychological unconcious thing–we believe we can relate to people who look like us.) And there\’s me, the so-called white-washed me. The me who prefers eating nonasian food and listening to foreign music (but not music from asia). But I feel like I am really missing out on the people I don\’t really get a chance to meet. I believe everyone can be an interesting person. However, it\’s very difficult to hit that sweet spot. The spot that breaks that shell–this is where the person will let go of all restraints, all limitations to just be himself or herself. All my life (and I never quite understood it), people have always found me intriguing and unique. Being me, I assume (almost) everyone can be the same way. Being in Pittsburgh, I miss the role I had in Berkeley. That is, in the last month I was there, I suddenly found my place. I knew where and who I was. After 4 years, I finally was able to express myself without bubbles of insecurity and embarrassment. And I had the confidence to prove it. Then zap me here more than 3000 miles away, I am again sitting on concrete blocks, trying to shield myself from unpredictability rather than embracing it.

Surprisingly, almost half of the student population at CMU is Asian. And even more so, there are a lot of people originally from California. And BERKELEY. Carnegie Mellon doesn\’t have a real mascot. Or at least, the school colors seem to be muted in the background. How sad it is to live away from my blue and gold tinted non-spirited years of Berkeley.