Yesterday was the CMU commencement (all the ceremonies in one day). The keynote speaker was forgettable as well as the student speaker. Despite their many pieces of advice, nothing really struck me. Time is of essence, but why tell us how important and valuable our time is…when we have heard it all our lives. Especially when stuffed into a college that is neck-breaking, heart-breaking…we already know how our lives are precious. Show us how to live it.

But the most enlightening thing was talking to my friends\’ parents. They seemed so proud of their children, no matter what they did. That they come to a campus, awe-inspired at their children\’s work, amazing things that I could see they wish they could have experienced but through their children, they experience it all. I talked to Janette\’s mom who almost reminded me of my parents. They too came from Hong Kong and immigrated to the states right before they had children. Mrs. Fong told me about the differences of Hong Kong culture and American culture. It wasn\’t something that I had thought before. She said that in Hong Kong, people casually call each \”stupid\”–a way to show affection for another. Similar to the Spanish \”tonta\” or the smiling way here people say \”i hate you!\” But sometimes those kind of things can be misinterpreted and that we think my mom called me stupid and we suffer insecurity. Likewise, my mom was somewhat like that. Very hard on my sister and me. I was the oldest and didn\’t always did things right. In my fading memory, I only remember feeling hurt and so much more insecure. But here many years later, it was meant to be seen as a sign of affection?

That\’s hard to really reconcile those years. But now I only know how hard being a parent must be. I always wondered if my parents hadn\’t been so \”strict\”…would my sister and I be…the same people we are now? Would we have assimilated fully into the American culture? Would my sister and I actually follow the social norm of drinking alcohol…doing the things that people my age normally do? Or do matter what, the personalities we were born with…will make us the same people?