After last week\’s mental crisis…well actually I haven\’t learned much from it, except that I should handle my past better. I re-read my Heather story and realized how most people probably didn\’t understand why it was one of the most traumatic incidents of my life. It\’s the fact that my greatest desire in the sixth grade was to be accepted. I had no friends. And yes surprise surprise, my grades in the sixth grade were lackluster. By the way, at that time, all guys had cooties. Still.
I\’ll add the epilogue of my story:
After Heather stopped making fun of me…well I still had no friends. I still did the same dorky things I did, like follow people around during break and lunch. There was this girl that I found intriguing. I had followed her around a lot, but then one day as we were waiting for fifth period to start, she started talking to a classmate about how I followed her around. Then the both of them talked about how irresponsible it was to have my mother of all people to call Heather\’s mother. And they criticized my letter although its criticism was due.
I messed up writing the story though, because I was lazy. Heh. At the beginning it says that I am doing my final project. In fact, it was a final project for my senior year in government class. I was telling the class the Heather story. I don\’t know if anybody remembered though. The thing was…as I talked about how Heather taunted me, I started weeping and my voice broke as I talked about the pain. The class was appreciative of my presentation.
And even then, I was an outcast in that class…
god.. it\’s 2. the thing with re-reading is you notice things you didn\’t notice before. or when you reanalyze a situation. like when someone talks about something and you realize you were in the exact same position, but cannot tell them, you still remember. and remember. and think about it down to every tiny detail, not taking back or regretting it but wondering WHY you went along with it or what if something happened, if things turned out differently. i should shut up and write in my own blog or something :) see ya tomorrow
Yes, you should Stacee. You should!
Oh and by the way, if I could turn back time and had the choice of writing the letter or not, I still would have sent the letter.
really ? :( that sucks…….
That Heather story sounds so much like something that I could have gone through…except with no semi-happy ending for me. I was a social outcast (I think I still am) and sixth grade was horrible for me too. I also know how hard it is to get a recollection right when there is so much emotion involved…you tend to forget things and what actually happened gets blurred.