Someone asked out loud last week, \”Is a goodbye harder for the people left behind or the people who are leaving?\”

Last year, around this time, I had so much difficulty leaving a place that I had grown with for four years. I thought I had made some of the long-lasting friends. I even changed my ticket to Pittsburgh to be delayed for three days. Yet three months later, it turned out be a facade. They forgot. They filled the void with other things. But I missed them so much and when I did come back, it wasn\’t like how it used to be. I felt like a stranger and…so unwelcomed. It wasn\’t where I belonged.

But I can\’t help visit Berkeley next week. I miss having a feeling that a brand new day could have so much opportunity. It was the diversity. The unpredictability that drew me.

And in Pittsburgh. It\’s the people. I found myself bonding with so many people this past year. For the longest time, I have always retreated myself to an outsider loner status. But I am not that anymore. What I am…is that I am someone. People who are finishing up the one year program are leaving. Most are heading to California. The Bay Area, where I will most likely see them again in the near future. But there are a few that are heading to Korea, to New Jersey, to Boston, to New York. Last weekend, Greg stopped by to drop a futon and a chair. There was an awkward moment that we exchanged goodbyes and a haveagreatlife moment. We didn\’t know what to say since we never really knew each other well. And I simply returned to the cliched statement of \”good luck\”.

This time around, I am the one left behind. Today was the last day of the project. All of us are relieved and exhausted. Yet, in a few weeks I will go to campus, not being able to see the same people. I will attend parties with different people. I will have different conversations. But change is always good. Because I believe that things always get better.

In other news, it was Lele\’s b-day last week! :D Exiting the terrible twos!