The times when I thought doing nothing all day was appealing are long gone.

Nowadays, I wake up exactly at 10 am. Sometimes waking up in sudden alertness, worried that I had overslept and missed something important. But then I realize I am at my parents\’ house–a place despite the ever-present nagging where I can feel safe.

I stare at my laptop, waiting for something to arrive in e-mail. I am antsy. Watching TV is an option, but nothing is ever interesting. I could work on my portfolio, making it more detailed. I could work on applying for jobs. I could work on my personal projects–my memoirs, a log of all the restaurants I have been to in the last year, the photo project I had always intended to finish, sprucing up my sister\’s site… But instead, I stare at Mail and hope that something will come. So I wait.