“I have bad news,” he said the moment I got into the car.

Immediately, I started thinking of all the scenarios that could possibly happen:

1. I have cancer.

2. My leg is going to be amputated.

3. I have been accused of being a terrorist.

4. They found me.

5. I got another parking ticket.

6. I have been banned from the Internet.

7. I need to sell my car.

8. Your house is on fire.

9. I accidentally smashed your computer.

10. Your bed fell apart.

The first thing that came out of my mouth was, “You’re breaking up with me?!?!?!?!?!??!”

Fortunately it wasn’t any of the above.

Just that his mom was coming into town…

(Which translates as: she will take up my entire weekend so all our plans to go to Half Moon Bay are canceled)