“So I use this eye cream because I really get eye circles,” she said. “It really helps! I love it.”

They continued talking about their nighttime regime going through products from Clinique and MAC. The eye cream to get rid of wrinkles and eye circles. The lotion that had SPF because that was very important. I sat there quietly, trying not to panic. Drinking my tea that had cooled. One sip at a time.

Angie turned to me and asked, “So what do you use?”

In the Girl Scouts right before high school, the troop decided that to work on the beauty badge. We went around the circle talking about our facial regime. Some talked about the special facial wash they used. Others talked about their mom teaching them how to use facial scrub. A mud mask. I was silent as usual but was panicking inside. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. I had no idea and couldn’t make up something on the spot.

When it was my turn, I said, “I use soap.”

A year later, I got acne and stopped using regular bar soap for facial cleansing.

Now more than 13 years later, the same question faced me. I decided that I wanted to admit how clueless I was in regards to beauty. And how when I purchased foundation last weekend, my cheeks slightly reddened when the saleslady asked me what I used and I hesitated because I never owned foundation before and the saleslady must have thought Uh…isn’t she a little too old to be so clueless? and I asked questions like how are you supposed to put that on and how do you clean the brush spending an additional $45 that I am going to return tomorrow.

Angie must have noticed my hesitation and answered for me.

She then said, “I think I asked you once and you chirped, ‘I use soap!'”