I scanned the facebook message, thinking it was nice that my friend got in touch wishing me a happy fourth of July.

I re-read it again. The first few words, I am engaged… I wanted to yelp with a mixture of surprise, glee and excitement, but fortunately I kept it down. I mean after all I was at work…with some visual designer heads down in their work.

I typed quickly to a few friends. Txt a few more friends. The news. We always thought well at least I had always thought…she was the independent type? That marriage wasn’t necessary to be happy. But I was excited! She did seem looking for that root of security despite her fierce independence. Oh marriage.

Later that day, I went to dinner with a friend. As we sat in a hole-in-the-wall Indian restaurant surrounded by smoky goodness, he told me how marriage wasn’t on the horizon despite being with his girlfriend for awhile. She didn’t share the same expectations. There was a look of mild despair.

I joked that marriage really was about the wedding. A party where I can spend $50,000 and say look at me, I am so cool! A party for me! But well, logically it’s about the life afterwards?

Has modern society stripped away the words of marriage? Why do we necessarily need words of I do when our actions should speak louder than words? Especially every day? Why do we need to prove to others the devotion and dedication? And why must girlfriend and boyfriend must change one day into wife and husband? Why can’t it be a natural progression?

But I do like choosing color themes and songs.