I was reading a blog today where a mother starting dreaming about the hopes/dreams/aspirations of her unborn son. She said that he could excel in life. He would already be learning how to cook by the age of 6. He would have started a company by the age of 13. He wouldn’t let the lack of social security get in the way…he would succeed. She dreamed…then pedaled back a bit, because well he wasn’t born yet.

At first, it was a nice entry.

But it struck me.

Why do parents have to put expectations upon their kids? What if the kids were born with a developmental disorder and could never succeed in the way you want them to? What if you as a parent could be happy if they could get up every morning by themselves? What if you could be happy that your daughter worked as a nanny not making anything but still loved what she did?

I once told a friend that I couldn’t have kids because I would want to live through them. So that they wouldn’t have to go through the horrible awkwardness I experienced in middle school and high school. And living in a world where friendships are often in doubt. I think I would be happy if they can find people they can trust.

Don’t put undue pressure on them. Because in doing so, as some parents have been described to me, they live in unending disappointment of their children. Isn’t that the worse feeling as a kid? To not be believed in?

I hope it won’t be me.