During my college years, I had of.jennism.com linked on my aim profile. I would regularly send the link to anyone I met over email, over im. I would expect them to read it regularly. If not to hear my thoughts that I didn’t want to constantly repeat, but to feel connected.

But today. It’s different. The only place that I publicize of.jennism is on my twitter profile. I don’t give it out unless someone asks for it. I allow people to google for it. I don’t hide it. It’s relatively easy to find. But almost none of my friends today know about it.

Yet, why?

A friend recently noted, “You are so different on your blog.”

But the strange thing is…without my blog, I wouldn’t be who I am today. It is the method by which I developed my own voice and analyzed my own mistakes.

The only reason I even have it on my twitter profile is to associate the jennisms. Yet is it my way of building a brand? I have envy of the big bloggers on the web, but over the years, I specifically made my blog less about providing information. For years, I insisted on blogging without a title. Because with a title, it was less about the writing. It was about the quick information. I deliberately hid the RSS feed, because I wanted people to stumble into serendipity. Then I refused to use tags allowing all my blog entries to flow into one.

But my readership declined even though I believed on the surface…that it didn’t really matter.

Today, I returned to a blogger I used to follow in the past. She had photos outlining her life. Her capture of culture in her city. Her freedom of expression, describing her thoughts and events.

Sure, I was jealous of the number of comments. I missed the semi-popularity I had in 2002-2004. But moreso, I missed having the impact of a real voice that could be heard.