I still believe in your eyes…I’ll fly with you

For some reason, that song from my freshman year in college has returned in full force in my current playlist. I hadn’t heard it for more than 10 years. And then suddenly.

On the way back from Tahoe, we didn’t have any music except a CD case from the college years. So I put one with carefully handwritten title “Top Pops”.

And I heard the obviously autotuned female voice. The one that caught my attention while I was in the dorms. Maybe it was the song that I listened to while I was sulking about the breakup of my first boyfriend. The one that I listened to while I studied for linear algebra and intro to psychology. The song that I listened to overcome with social anxiety and unable to socialize with my floormates? Or was it when I was trying to figure out who were my real friends were?

Whatever it was…in that moment in the car on the way back from Tahoe, I couldn’t help but sing. It was rare. I never let myself go like that.

And it was bliss.

Then when I got back, I found the song and added to it my favorite on Spotify.

In fact, just now, I sensed that it was ending. So I went to double-click it—to play in a constant loop. I wonder what my friends on Facebook think when it appears multiple times in the feed.