In my entire life, the only time that I recalled a direct sexist comment (outside of media) was in Ireland, sitting in the back of a taxi. I was initially surprised as my fellow passengers reacted more assertively. Walking away, I was shocked and stunned. Then thinking about how I wanted to share the moment with people, I spent an hour contemplating how to phrase it. Then I simply described the situation pointing out how surprised I was by the sexism and racism. On twitter. In 140 characters.

Without identifying the cab driver. Because there wasn’t any point of calling him out.

In some way, I was intending to only draw attention to the point that sexism and racism existed in a foreign place. Whether it was a pure isolated incident or generalization, I essentially had these goals:

So whether Adria deserved the backlash or not, we know sexism exists. I don’t condone it. And bad behavior deserves to be stopped and called out. Yet never for a moment did I think to call the cab company, because I would see it as a bigger issue.

In my own way, the incident in Ireland has been a story I tell about why I am hesitant to move to Europe. And why Ireland (along with a multitude of reasons) was generally unappealing to me. I never experienced a sexist moment like that, especially since I was the target of it (in contrast to Adria’s moment).

The point is this: let’s treat each other with respect and then make decisions from there.