More than the standard person, the trick to get to me…is just by listening to me. Really listening to me and showing that you really understood.

There are some who believe that it’s simply sitting there and letting their ears open, letting the words flow in. But to me, it’s asking clarification questions and prompting with curiosity or their own anecdotes.

The worst thing to do to me is not listen to me. Ignoring is one thing, but to return with criticism and misunderstanding is the worst thing to do.

Yet, today as I stood with a coworker who I did not want to build rapport with for professional reasons, I suddenly struggled. I can’t help but comment on the cuisine, the bright sun casting a feeling of 70 degree weather in the valley, the ways of suburbia. It’s just what I do. And just like any other typical person, he couldn’t help but also converse as well. And then, there it was understanding.

Today, I drove up the 280 and relished how its ease and freedom unlike the horrible 40 minutes I drove yesterday on El Camino Real hitting traffic lights every few minutes. Perhaps because the former felt habitual. It felt like it understood me.