I am an introvert and….

And I hate how extroverts need to rebel.

Granted, I am really the unique snowflake who completely wants to declare I AM SPECIAL.

Yet, the introversion signs that have been going around the web unmistakenly describe me. And for so many years, I never quite understood why I wasn’t like the others. Sure there were reserved kids, but I was crippled by social anxiety accentuated my natural quiet inclination and my cautious behavior. And for so many years, I wanted more than anything to be loud and obnoxious. Even to the point where I demanded that people never ever call me nice. Because nice implied quiet.

I hated class participation and routinely failed this class requirement—unable to raise my hand in class. I loved writing essays (although I didn’t always do well in them) and even asked a teacher once to make a test about essays rather than multiple choice. A former boyfriend attacked me with a “you don’t know what you like to do with other people; you only know what you like to do by yourself”. In my yearbooks, the most common scrawl was “You are nice and quiet. Speak up!” Nowadays, you’ll find me playing with the kids at parties (if there are kids). I have a three hour limit at almost all parties; sometimes one hour.

But hold on, I love talking to people (when I am happy). And I love planning events (although I don’t really enjoy participating). And I often find myself going out every evening (is it a habit)? And I don’t mind telling the world my thoughts. Really.

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