In my twenties, I often believed that I needed to do what everyone thought was fun. I was a regular at the local bars (because everyone had fun drinking although I usually only drank water) and I spent ridiculous amounts of money at “New American” restaurants (even for meals that I thought were entirely disgusting). I even hosted huge rocking parties, inviting everyone I knew, to come over. Coupled with alcohol and other pleasant things.

But what was I really thinking?

I once read an article where the author decided to be true to herself. That meant that she went out less often. She spent more time relaxing at home. That also meant that she saw less of her friends often.

And here’s the rub.

I spent a lot of time doing things that I absolutely disliked just so that people would like me more. In some ways, that did work. They called me regularly. They invited me to things. Because maybe I added color? A sense of naivete and innocence? Yet by the end of my twenties, I suddenly just stopped participating. Let’s not lie about this. I prefer more hole-in-the-wall cuisine. I love spending hours watching (good) TV and movies, writing endlessly, and wrapping myself up in burrito with my blanket.

What this turned into was that I suddenly was not part of the former big groups. I slowly lost touch with people. But maybe, it was for the best, because did I really connect with them authentically?

Whatever the case, I am a little more satisfied with my activities. So here’s to being true and telling others what I want rather than pretending that I want the same things that they do.