Thoughts ran through my head as I thought about the early twentysomethings I knew. How they had such deep need to express and share their lives. And how they told everyone…and I mean, everyone about how they were feeling and what they wanted to do. The instagramming. The facebooking. The texting.
I think now: that is so overwhelming. It’s too much.
Then I kicked myself.
Because that’s exactly how I was like at that age. Even though it wasn’t that long ago. I was self-absorbed, self-centered, and so so overly anxious. Was I doing this right? I kept asking myself. And I blindly tried so many things, while trying to find acceptance and and identity.
And slowly I mellowed out.
In college and graduate school, I distinctly remember spending hours upon hours on my computer. I would talk to multiple people in instant messages. Oddly enough, that behavior has barely translated to text messaging. I absolutely hate having conversations over the phone via text message. But I am stunned when people can’t engage in anything insightful through an instant message—whether it’s through the ancient AIM, gchat, and Facebook.
I remember having the emotional connection built through words that I carefully typed on screen. I remember yelling, screaming, crying over those conversations. The I don’t think that we should be friends and the Let’s not see each other again and the dramatic I see you never messages all exchanged. Those kind of things happened then when I was in my early and mid twenties. It’s probably the same, but in a completely different context—of still images, of short “edited” video, and self-possessed messages of #yolo and #winning
But most of all, I wonder why the word “detox” keeps coming up.