Dated February 12, 1998:
You don\’t ICQ much, you have many wishes, many of which may not have come true, you seem to live an unhappy life, just one that slowly carries you everyday. Never really looking foward to the next day. You have incredible potential, you don\’t realize it til something major happens, a semester grade, dumped by a boyfriend, etc. You think quite a lot, sometimes not enough, sometimes too much. You open your mouth at wrong times, and at important times, shut up when you something wrong is taking place.

I don\’t know why that snippet from an e-mail still has so much impact on me after so many years. It was one of the first e-mails that Alan, my first bf, sent me. To think, this 14 year old could change the life of a then 15 year old so much. I still blame him for a lot of my negativity in the recent years, but I should one day thank him for finding the optimism in life.