The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
may not ever quite work for me.
It’s the idea of “keeping things only if they bring you joy”.
I hold onto the past dearly in fear that I may forget it. That I may offend people if I let go. That the things may become useful in the future (and it has). But am I letting things hold me in prison?
The other day, I started to empty things from my closet. Yet, as I look at my shoes, a fear was daunting me. I love my chocolate flats, but despite having them fixed three times, they are now incredibly scuffed and worn. The shoemaker told me that it’s not worth fixing them. The same with my suede boots. And my sneakers, they started bursting within a year of wearing them. I could really go without all the others, but then I wouldn’t have any shoes and with that, I know how long it takes to buy them. I can’t go barefeet. And would I be compelled to shop knowing that I only want things that bring me joy? Wouldn’t it paralyze me when I shop to always be thinking if I’ll waste my money if it will be tossed away moments later?
I already have trouble buying shoes and still am dissatisfied with what I have.
If I was to have only things that bring me joy, then I wouldn’t have anything that improves my health or beauty. I would toss those things away, because they only remind me that I am beholden to what society thinks of me. I truly do not care to feel beautiful, because beauty rarely inspires me. Or even healthy, because the only thing I desire is to have energy and strength. So then what is joy if the immediate decisions affect long-term detrimental failure?
That puzzles me.
How would a person with a chronic disease tidy their life if they tossed away all their medications and needles that they would need in order to live a normal, healthy life?