On the way to be the crotchety old woman

On Friday to catch a 7 am flight, I woke up unexpectedly at 4 am when my android phone decided that it needed to warn me that if I wanted to get to SFO, I better leave NOW NOW. I had planned to wake up at 5, grab a lyft at 5:30 to the plane, and be at the airport for the minimum (safe) time before my flight.

But now I was an hour early awake!

Because my phone was too smart.

But I don’t know if that was beginning of the crotchety behavior that persisted into my behavior for the rest of the day, at least in the morning where that adrenaline spiraled me into making decisions that were like an old woman.

As I clambered into the lyft, I could tell that the driver was going to make an illegal u-turn, so I promptly told the drive not to do so. “Please don’t do an illegal u-turn across the double yellow. Just go straight and make a right. Then you know, make another right.”

But I was quite aware of how nagging and lecturing this could come off. But then moments later as I noticed that the driver wasn’t too pleased with my comments, I decided to present a rationale for why it was important not to do an illegal u-turn (although waze said so). I proceeded despite a desire not to offend…to talk about how dangerous it was for everyone—pedestrians, other vehicles, cyclists. Of course! I had nearly been run over by other drivers like this especially when on a bike. Maybe he didn’t realize it, I reasoned. But I immediately reasoned that he didn’t care as he suddenly turned off waze and proceeded to take a VERY slow way to the freeway. As a city dweller of over 12 years, I knew that he was pulling off a passive aggressive move. If he was a lyft driver in the city, the route to the airport, especially from the Mission would be quite common, especially down cesar chavez and no matter, he would know that driving down any numbered streets would encounter multiple stop signs. It was simply obvious and I gritted my teeth as I said diplomatically whether he knew the way. Apparently, he didn’t, he said in a strained voice. Knowing that there was no way that I could avoid appearing a nag, I proceeded to tell him how to get on the freeway. I wondered how my rating was like, but I realized that I didn’t care. I only took lyft for work. So I was like whatever.

He drove at the speed limit and in the slowest lane of traffic on the freeway. No complaints, because he was driving safely.

And then on the line to board the plane, I noticed that a guy dragged a rollaway was in the wrong group. I couldn’t help myself and told him that he wasn’t in the right group. “They’re only boarding the A group! You’re the B group!”

He proceeded to ask me if I was security and that why should I care. Especially that it was none of my business. I protested, “You’re taking the space of someone! You’re cutting in line!”

I silenced when I got on board, and suddenly a thought occured to me. What if I could sit next to him so that his flight would be horrible as I shot lasers to him! So I proceeded to follow him onto the plane. But then I realized that my own flight would be ruined by this erratic decision. I thought about how I would ruin everyone’s flight. For just over an hour. I thought about it. But instead, as I saw him settle in an aisle seat, I immediately turned the other direction and took a window seat. I made sure that I gave him a glare and settled into my seat, wondering what crotchety woman got into me.

Because you know…get off my lawn!

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