Still not decided after the previous post. Funny thing is that most of my classmates want me to do the project rather than do an internship. Yet I know if I do the internship, then I\’ll have a different perspective of what I want (like after having a long term relationship with no strings attached!). But is it worth it?
Anyway, I just came across this entry in someone\’s livejournal (obviously it\’s about me) written 9/20/2003:
367 days and 6 hours ago was the last time I talked to Jenn on AIM (according to my AIM+ History). I had become just another one of her casualties. On the other hand, over the year, she became unexpectedly useful by serving as a conversation piece and tool for bonding between her other ex-friends.
One of the reasons I was attracted to her was probably because of the number of similarities that I felt I shared with her. And perhaps for this reason, when ties were severed, it gave me another goal in life: to try to become better than her, especially where I had seen similar weaknesses. So while I became a \”pseudo-enemy\” to her like the others, she became what is probably my first rival.
Thus, curiously enough, I might need to thank her one day.
Bitterness, anybody? We have to admit that we always want to be better than those we hate. We don\’t want to remember our weaknesses, our faults. We don\’t want to remember why we failed and the type of people we were when we failed. Is that our motivation in life?