Yesterday at work, I realized that there was going to be a Brown Bag. Meaning there was going to be lunch provided. Having my prepared salad, I shoved in the work fridge trying to adjust all the random containers in there.

In haste, a round container with an unsecured top fell. It fell, spilling its contents all over the floor. I panicked. But then I hesitated, thinking sure the lasagna is still good. Five second rule all over the hardwood floor of the design studio.

But the reasonable person principle came back to play. What would a reasonable person do? Giving a small sigh, I scooped it back into the container and dropped it into the garbage. The IT guy came over and got a glass from the cabinet. I stepped aside from him, wondering if he noticed. He bumbly said hello and I said hello back. When he left, I grabbed a paper towel and wiped the reminder of lasagna from the ground and fridge, trying to cover my tracks.

I teetered a bit in the kitchen and made sure there was no bits.

I sighed, realizing what a reasonble person would do.

In an email, I drafted to the san francisco office, “Sorry to whoever had lasagna for lunch. I accidentally knocked it over, spilled its contents on the floor. It was in a circular black unlabeled container. I’ll buy you lunch!”

Holding my breath, I clicked send.

For the rest of the day (with an exception of one person whose lunch it really was), I got requests to buy someone lunch. From people whose grandmothers sent lasagna from Italy to people’s imaginary wives made them lasagna.

Fortunately, I know who never brings lunch to work.