There should be a Don’t Disturb Sign on my seat

“Sorry to wake you,” the conductor said last week as I let out a soft scream, being audibly woken up by the loud “TICKETS, PLEASE!”

It is the most polite form of post-waking-up that I have experienced on the caltrain. Usually, it’s the clatter of keys on the side of the train waking everyone in the car. Followed by a barely audible thank you.

There’s just something wrong with this picture of me soundly sleeping for the 40+ minute ride on the caltrain, being suddenly disturbed by the lawful conductors. Because as it says when I board the train, THIS IS A PROOF OF PAYMENT SYSTEM and I am doomed to stay in anxiety having my validated ticket at hand.

Isn’t it wrong?

I dreaming of the time away from work, away from feeling like I am traveling in a metal tube going at 70 mph in one direction, all these yuppies willing to spend money on a $20 taxi…ugh.

What happened to the system I have experienced on the LIRR and the commuter train in Chicago? Where I can clip my ticket near the seat. By god, that means that no conductor has to reach over me to the person sitting in the window seat. No, they don’t have to lean toward me to touch my curry-filled hands because I yet again spilled my lunch under my eat. No, they don’t have to notice that yes my feet is up…because it’s so much more comfortable than feeling like I am stuck in an airplane. By god, it would be incredible if they only had to look outside my seat and realize that YES SIR, I did pay for my ticket.

Although I can say this. There is nothing worse in disturbing my sleep when I hear a conductor yelling at a passenger who purposefully or not purposefully did not have the right ticket. Thrown off, yes. With protests, whining…and all I want is settle into my yuppie-ness of dreamlessness sleep.

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