What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

In 2010, I made xmas photo. In 2011, I made metaphorical thingsthat were intentionally symbolic of relationships and history. In 2012, I made ice cream. In 2013, I made design. In 2014, I made “my room”. In 2015, I made the last line of Ice Cream Travel Guide, literally. In 2016, I made my annual holiday video. In 2017, I made another annual holiday video. In 2018, I made scones (from the Tartine cookbook)! In 2019, I made another holiday video! In 2020, I made some minor things (a chapter and writing prompts), but of course the biggest thing was the annual holiday video! In 2021, it was of course annual holiday video, which was built on little videos that I had made throughout the year.

This year, of course, it was the annual video. But I guess in some way, this year, although it was emerging from the pandemic, there were some things that kept us from being the most creative. Even though I attended all these workshops and classes. So much of that momentum had come from previous years. So it made the year better than it could have been. All that pent up energy during the pandemic.

The annual video though was a rush in the last 24 hours—although I had conceptualized it for several weeks. Something about disastrous stories about couples had intrigued me a lot. Especially with the recent TV show of Fleishman is in Trouble. Although the book came out in 2019, it really highlighted the current times—the way that women are perceived, the way that women are assumed to be hysterical, the way that women even white women are seen as the bully, and of course, motherhood.

There was always a thrill toward the end in the making, but not as much as before. The energy to create something so tight, so perfect, so well-acted, so orchestrated always feels near impossible. Sometimes I wonder if we would ever make the next one. How could we? I barely have the production software, much less the production skills. What captures the 2022 essence? It’s so impossible to know.

But in all, there was this feeling of wanting to bake for people. I miss it always. I miss the desire to host, to create things for people, to make them feel welcome. Maybe if the weather cooperates, we’ll have the brunch together again!