I had been clicking a newly acquired pen for about 5 minutes. Repeatedly…probably driving the people sitting next to me crazy. I was prepared to have all my documents ripped apart. Pen marks strewn all over the place. I was building up the shield so that my \”low\” self-esteem wouldn\’t cause me to walk out with tears in my eyes (as I have done in the past). The career counselor finally called my name. I sat down and showed her my resume and statement of purpose, ready for \”constructive\” criticism. And to my disappointment, she said nothing beyond \”THIS IS GREAT! IT\’S PERFECT! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY!\”

All my fidgeting and anxiety for nothing! I was grateful that my resume and statement were so great, but I was sorely dissatisfied. Perhaps, I am supposed to accept the fact that her nametag read \”Counseling Intern\” rather than \”Counselor\”. When I was a peer tutor in high school, I would scribble all over students\’ papers even if they were really good. I always found something that could be improved. But for my resume and statement…they were both…\”perfect\”.

If they are so perfect, why have I not gotten a full-time job or a grad school acceptance? Maybe it\’s my interviewing skills and my better-than-average-but-not-spectacular-enough academic record.

I went to Express to find a business suit and realized that I was still not ready to spend $200.