I know I am better than them

Like many individuals of these times, we can’t help but stare as cars crash. Or as celebrities fight. Or as families break apart. We follow the drama more than we follow the global wars, the strife in politics, the new diseases. We wait in anticipation for next week. The reality show, our own voyeurism is driven by our yearning of knowing are we as good as we think we are?

My dad once explained why he watched the Jerry Springer show, “It makes me feel good about myself.”

I started watching Road Rules and Real World in high school. As I grew older, I could see how everything, everything in public tore these people apart.

More than 8 months ago, I saw a call for a diary-like project. One where you track your day and then post it. For everyone to see. I applied out of spite angry at how people had written theirs. I wanted to show the world how unique I was. But I didn’t think about it for months until a few days ago when I got a response.

“Are you still interested? Please let us know” the email said.

Of course, I had first thought. Then I glanced back at the entries. The angry, unjustified comments. The people tore everything apart on shallow judgements.

Would I be strong to bare my soul online? Could I survive it without coming away with a nasty bite? Or was it shameless promotion of myself? My desire to be heard…and understood. The driving force behind this blog.

There was a call once for MTV’s True Life for I live another life on the web. I missed it. But maybe I am glad that the only person looking at my life is me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.