I am not sure how I started to enjoy it.
The math. My mom always said that I struggled at first, but they kept encouraging me and believing in me (unlike the typical tiger mom). Then one day, I understood math really well. Advanced placement classes were in my future all throughout middle school and high school.
In college, some would say that I loved drama. But looking back, it wasn’t the drama. It was the problem-solving. Figuring out people, figuring out the potential consequences and needed actions. It was fascinating.
As I calmed down over the years, I realized that I am innately a planner. A problem-solver. As long as it didn’t rely on anybody.
A cabin in Tahoe for 8 people? Done.
Internet is broken? Fixed.
Lights out? I know someone. Done.
Don’t want to pay full price? Done.
Everything is fixable. But then there are things like this—finding the right roommate, finding the significant other, finding the right job. Those are such intangible things. It’s so dependent on someone else…and perhaps in my own problem-solving, that’s the people that makes me so anxious.
I can’t control people. I can’t control others. I can only wait.