I think I am really masochistic. Like Zelda said. :)

I went back to Valley Fair yesterday with April and yes I set foot in J. Crew again. To see if my ex was working there. My plan is to shock him by saying hello (because he knows I don\’t live around the area) and live with a smug smile. But for the third time, he wasn\’t there. After that, April and I decidly talked smack about all the people we dislike. :D

Then today, because I had no carpool, I decided to make the trek to Stanfuuurd that I had been procrastinating forever and ever (it\’s not because Stanfurd is my school\’s rival). And visit Kristen. I would just like to mention that she has a RED truck. *cough* Then after she pointed me in the direction to get to the freeway, I immediately took the wrong turn and gawked at the students.

On the way back home, some cardboard box suddenly flew up from the pickup truck in front of me. I let out a small scream and hit the brakes. To my relief it settled on the freeway where I could RUN OVER IT DEAD.

What does it really mean when someone says they have a secret?

What does it mean when they tell you have a secret, then ask you whether they can trust you. Then you respond with an assuring comment, hoping it will encourage the telling of the secret.

Nobody to tell, you say.

And he responds, you have the entire world to tell. your journal. your blog.

Then the secret-teller withdraws. And you realize that you might have said the wrong thing. And the secret is left shrouded in darkness.

Then it bothers you for days thereafter. Because it was something that he wanted you to know, but he had changed his mind at the last minute.

My sister will be leaving for the airport in a few hours. Again! Sobby.

Last week, despite the incident, we found ourselves in the back of my grandfather\’s van…talking about random stuff. Almost like no disaster ever happened. Like she was talking about her shadowing an eye doctor. It was sad when she was talking about an old man who lost his vision, but the doctor had difficulty finding a diagnosis and told the man that he would have to come back another day to take a test. The old man had taken a taxi from his home to the office…and was losing a lot of money from high rent and his incoming blindness. But then in this case, a doctor has to draw the line between him and the patients. I guess then…too much compassion would taint the practice.

Saw The Hours. Would have been a good movie, except my mom interrupted every 5 minutes to ask what a character had just said. To observe aloud that two characters were lesbian because they kissed – \”OH SHE\’S LESBIAN\”. And a scene based in the fifties, my mom would exclaim that they were not wearing seatbelts every time the characters entered the car. And obvious observations \”OH THEY\’RE THE SAME PERSON\” which I had figured out more than 45 minutes ago…

My dad fell asleep and started snoring.

I don\’t think my parents liked the movie.

Someone asked me this question a few weeks ago:

If you could be granted with a job or a boyfriend, which one would you choose?

If you know me well enough, you would know what I chose…almost immediately.

AND then a Friday Five

1. How are you planning to spend the summer [winter]?
My summer has already started (since the end of May)! Spent the first weekend at my sister\’s place in San Diego (yo lady!). Then lounged around the house doing nothing. Attempted to sublease my apartment with success. :D Two months of internship, which I am still in the process in. Then a week off to MINNY SODA to spend time with some crazy 50 year old rapists that I met online. Then right after that, I head back to work in Berkeley as a residential computing consultant-have to help residents move in. That\’s probably when summer is over…because once residents finish moving into the dorms, school starts over again!
Tight schedule, but yes I can do it!

2. What was your first summer job?
*cough* A summer job? ME? ME THE SPOILED BRAT!??!?! Most of the jobs I have had were usually yearlong and never was only isolated to the summer. The first real \”summer job\” was last year when I had an internship in Bayer. Previous to that, I was a tutor for rich kids, volunteer, and yet another intern on campus.
The years all before that…I usually spent my summers doing essentially nothing. My middle school summer years were dull except for two weeks where I spent at Girl Scout Day Camp. Then the following years, I usually had summer school in a community college (20-30 minutes away from my house).

3. If you could go anywhere this summer [winter], where would you go?
Not here.

4. What was your worst vacation ever?
I can\’t say what makes a vacation the worst one I have ever been on. Because then I can say that about all my vacations. I could say that China was the worst, but then there were the upsides. I just didn\’t like the capitialistic gung-ho environment. Let\’s move on!

5. What was your best vacation ever?
Either one of the three cruises (Alaska, Carribean, Ensenda/Catalina) or New Jersey. I am leaning toward the cruises, especially Alaska. The cruise through Southern Alaska…had occured just when I needed a break from my daily life. It was shortly after the disaster of my college freshman year. The trip was where I was able to prove myself wrong…that I wasn\’t always a crisis-prone someone (although I do like being one). Also, during that time, our parents gave my sister and me more independence than we ever had. AND WE MET THE WEIRDEST PEOPLE EVER ON THAT SHIP. forever alaska!

My shocking rejection from the zine oddly disappeared. But thank you Naim for the chance.

Take my invitation and join friendster!

I did a salon thing for the first time ever. I went inside and felt out of place. But I did it. It was supposed to be a magical face a lift. Then after the process was done, I felt like I had done nothing at all but signed my name on a paper. Then it made me want to return to spend more money.


  • I received a postcard from Ben and you didn\’t! nyah nyah!
  • Misplaced the connector from my digicam to my computer
  • Purchased a PCI modem for my computer
  • Watched Igby Goes down
  • (again) and If You Can

  • Watched all of Animatrix. Did not like the episode named \”Beyond\”.
  • Finished reading Janet Fitch\’s While Oleander
  • It\’s interesting after…I bawl for awhile…that I feel the physical effects for awhile.

    My parents dragged us to Fort Bragg today. The winding road up highway 20 made me carsick. A feeling hadn\’t felt for a long time. It\’s interesting how they always come back when I am distraught.

    I have been selected to be the voice on the company\’s voicemail. good or bad thing? It\’s mostly because they wanted a female voice with an American accent. Consider the fact that the first ten years of my life, I was put through speech therapy just so that I could get an American accent. What a good tradeoff, right?

    And I found this nice story about voicemail systems…