Like every extremely online person, I come across a social media post, especially from someone I don’t know and it made me think. Is it really my depleting estrogen that is leading me expressing more strict boundaries? Where I have no anxiety in expressing my boundaries. It’s their problem if they don’t like it.

I’ll respect you, but I don’t have to like it.

When I started college, I decided to completely reinvent myself. More than anything, I wanted friends so I decided to make myself more compatible for friendships. Or at least relatable. But along with this, I found myself walking the fine line of my personal principles. And of course, that spells trouble for me since I believed in being who I am while not having others infringe on my beliefs. It caused a lot of strife when I was younger leading to bitter breakups—romantic partners, friendships, or a disruption even with strangers.

With therapy/counseling, I learned that it was that I was allowing people to cross my boundaries. Although aside from victim-blaming, I didn’t build up a skill of expressing my boundaries. Until it was too late.

I am more expressive about what I want and need. Especially setting expectations. Maybe too transparently so—sometimes backfiring in my face. But didn’t I win? I stood up for myself. At least every day, I tell myself—it’s never worth it, it’s never worth it.

If they leave, it’s okay because I said what I said. It’s true. And it may be worse if I let things happen.