It’s done! I guess that I had prepared myself for the worst outcome post-op. But all is fine, similar to my previous surgery on my hand. I went in and then out with a sudden thing on my hand…and hip! The recovery for hip was more challenging than the hand.

As I was recovering from anesthesia, I was groggy, but at some point, I lucid enough to answer questions and tell the nurse that I didn’t want oxycontin. I mumbled something about how I was writing an essay in my head, but really I was eavesdropping to what the nurses were chatting about—something about epidural and what not.

But now just over 24 hours later, the only things that remain is the bandage with no pain! But for whatever reason, I am seeing things blurry but the internet (and also my sister who is an optometrist) assured me that it will resolve in a few days. But this is bugging more than usual I guess, because I was thinking that I would read and things while recovering! Now it’s just hard!

My last surgery was in 2006 when I was a young 24 for THE hand. I briefly blogged about the pre-op and post-op experience, which barely was anything. I remember being in more pain than necessary because I decided that I wanted to harvest bone from my hip than use synthetic. What was I thinking! I don’t remember being told much of complications or risks. As noted, I asked about consent as I was being wheeled into the OR, but then nothing!

And now older and wiser…and put into a position that I should do yet another highly recommended but elective surgery, I have too much information. I have watched the videos and read articles about the risks. I have searched on Google, Twitter, Facebook about the thing. Horror stories surface. I read about the fear and anxiety. And even though I was completely calm and more annoyed at the disruption to my routine, it caused me to think a bit more. What if I don’t wake up? What if I am deformed? What if what if? But it’s all very ridiculous, of course. I am young and healthy. I have a safety net in case things go awry. I had an easy recovery last time, so it shouldn’t be a big deal. But but but! Knock on wood.

Interestingly, they offered me this podcast—specifically a combination of meditation and imagery practice. My immediate impulse is obviously, that this isn’t for me. I am not anxious. I don’t need this. But of course, there was a whole mention about how in research studies, it proved useful in decreasing recovery time and increasing healing (although I have to think that the people inclined to do this had healthy practices, to begin with).

On my last day before, I’ll prepare with a few things as recommended—antiseptic wipes, carbohydrate drink, the last shower, the last meal. And then maybe I’ll see you soon on the other side.

This time, do I want to ask for a video? Not sure!