I wanted to debate, but stopped myself

My aunt said, “You should marry someone of your own culture. It’s just easier.”

I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to say how it shouldn’t be a match of culture, knowing that she meant of the same ethnicity or race. An asian, she said. I wanted to point out other things that were traits for compatibility: mindsets of money, tolerance of humor, similar life expectations, etc. I let some out, but I held back my tongue.

I remember an essay—a college application essay in fact.

A girl went to England to visit an uncle she dearly loved as a child. He would swing her up and down…both laughing as they did so. She hadn’t seen him for years. When they met again, it was as she remembered it. Yet when they settled down, the uncle started talking with the mother and the girl about how women’s roles have changed over time. How they should always be stay-at-home mothers and take care of the household, the kids. That they should never be working and basically live for the husband.

The girl was shocked that her uncle was so intolerant. The mother gave her a look that said no don’t say anything. The girl held back her tongue. And when the uncle went to another subject, it was as if he was still the uncle she loved.

“I reached the end,” I sighed in sorrow.

And the little characters waved goodbye to each other. Giving goodbye presents such as a hammer and a cookie.

Today marks the day that I have completed my first rpg game.

Namely, Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time on the Nintendo DS. Before this, I had only played SimCity and the Sims for days at a time. Then Animal Crossing and Yoshi’s Touch N Go which was overcome by Mario and Luigi. But really, as I discovered, it’s the story that kept me going even though it was just a red man and a green man running and jumping for items.

At some point in my life, a friend tried to get me to play Final Fantasy. XII, that is. I thought it was arduous as we sat in bed watching the game play out on his projector. I didn’t get the turn-based system and kept going only because he wanted to do so.

I like Mario and Luigi mostly because of all its tutorialness. And how over time, I learn how to make the right decisions during battles. How do people learn otherwise? And it, it’s so fascinating. Because it becomes a world where you make decisions. And when you make them, you have to have skill to execute those decisions.


Probably just picross!

Luck and tragedy

Someone once told me, “You’re lucky.”

And yet, am I? What is luck? To bet on the odds and yet still win? To take the risks and benefit much?

Or is it because I took the time to carefully analyze my choices and decide with diligence? Or because there are so many near misses and I just happen to still survive?

Or is it because I am paranoid when I leave my apartment always checking for three things—wallet, keys, and phone. Without keys, I cannot get inside. Without a phone, I cannot call for help. Without a wallet, I cannot identify myself, put something down as collateral, or bribe someone to help me get my keys or phone.

A few years ago in Pittsburgh in my bedroom on the top floor of a 3 story townhouse, the doorbell rang as I was sleeping. 3 am or so. It was ringing incessantly. I stumbled downstairs past my other roommates and opened the door in a half-asleep state. I opened the front door and my roommate came in, profusely apologizing for being locked out. I stumbled back upstairs to go back to sleep.

Rule #1: Don’t take pictures of you and your lover

Even my parents know.

Even my grandparents know.

About the Edison Chen sex scandal.

At dinner Monday (at Peony, of course), my parents gestured toward a woman reading a Chinese tabloid and shook their head in disappointment.

What is surprising to me is: 1. who had so much vengeance to post the photos all over the Internet? 2. why did edison chen decide to keep pictures of his sexual escapades? furthermore, why did he have to take pictures almost as trophies?

Besides that, he has a weird name. Knowing that he’s from Hong Kong, I hope his parents didn’t choose the name for him. Most likely, he probably chose his own English name when he was of age.

Fortunately, my parents didn’t choose a random English word for their English names.

Let’s talk about makeup!

“So I use this eye cream because I really get eye circles,” she said. “It really helps! I love it.”

They continued talking about their nighttime regime going through products from Clinique and MAC. The eye cream to get rid of wrinkles and eye circles. The lotion that had SPF because that was very important. I sat there quietly, trying not to panic. Drinking my tea that had cooled. One sip at a time.

Angie turned to me and asked, “So what do you use?”

In the Girl Scouts right before high school, the troop decided that to work on the beauty badge. We went around the circle talking about our facial regime. Some talked about the special facial wash they used. Others talked about their mom teaching them how to use facial scrub. A mud mask. I was silent as usual but was panicking inside. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. I had no idea and couldn’t make up something on the spot.

When it was my turn, I said, “I use soap.”

A year later, I got acne and stopped using regular bar soap for facial cleansing.

Now more than 13 years later, the same question faced me. I decided that I wanted to admit how clueless I was in regards to beauty. And how when I purchased foundation last weekend, my cheeks slightly reddened when the saleslady asked me what I used and I hesitated because I never owned foundation before and the saleslady must have thought Uh…isn’t she a little too old to be so clueless? and I asked questions like how are you supposed to put that on and how do you clean the brush spending an additional $45 that I am going to return tomorrow.

Angie must have noticed my hesitation and answered for me.

She then said, “I think I asked you once and you chirped, ‘I use soap!'”

I am nature and you’re nurture

As a youngling, my parents often spoke for me. As a result, I am still timid when I have to speak up in a unfamiliar situation. And sometimes I never say anything at all.

And yet for Chris, as a youngling, his mom never let him speak. As a result, he always speaks. Perhaps even before thinking. He attributes to the fact that he always wanted to speak.

A watch for me?

I got a watch for the recent holiday.

Even though I said that I don’t like watches, because I have a habit of checking the time if it’s readily available and making people anxious around me.

But what if there was a time that I didn’t want to be tracked by evil people. So I couldn’t use my cell phone. What if I wanted to go…black. I guess I would need a watch to tell my allies that we are about to set the bomb off in exactly 60 seconds.