I love it when my alarm wakes up 30 minutes before class starts and I lie in my bed for 10 more minutes in a cocoon state because I am stuck in a dream where I am taking a midterm but I don\’t know the answers. Then wake up and turn on my computer to print out an assignment that I forgot to print before I turned it off last night. Then spend 5-6 minutes in the bathroom. Eat a waffle and forget about the other one in the toaster. Then gather all my things and leave my apartment. Then it starts to rain outside, but I don\’t care because who looks at me in the morning. Then I arrive to class 10 minutes late, sitting in the back. Then the professor complains that people should not sit in the back rows, but fortunately this time she doesn\’t make us move to the front. Then I realize that I left my scantron in my apartment. So I wait until my classmate returns and tell her to turn in my assignment. Then I skip the 30 minutes left of class and go all the way back to my apartment to get my scantron. Then I start to go to my next class and I stand in the middle of the street wondering if I should take my umbrella for about two minutes. Eventually I turn back and get it. And it stops raining. Yes, I love that.

Am I going to regret all the time/work that I put into my classes this semester?

For this silly psychology midterm tomorrow, I have spent hours at the cafe and HAASHOLE library studying with Mae. Then speaking up for the first time in class to ask a question (was very embarassing because I couldn\’t pronouce ocular or striate…as a result I started laughing at myself when I was speaking). Then e-mailing my GSI. Then going to the office hours of another GSI.

But then looking back, I don\’t think I did enough. Maybe I should have you know…camped outside the professor\’s office. But there are rumors going around that he is gay.

The matrix revolutions! Coming…tomorrow!

Unfortunately for me, it\’s not going to be like last May when I was able to go all the way to SF to see the premiere at the Coronent. Kind of disappointed. Somehow I had a master plan that I would one of those massive parties where I would invite everyone I know to go see it at the metereon (unfortunately, it fell through because my entire semester has been non-stop midterms, projects BLEH) I sort of mentioned my interest in seeing the movie to someone today and he seemed pretty gung-ho inviting me to see it.

Until I checked my voicemail at 3 pm to discover that his friends don\’t feel comfortable with seeing a movie with strangers (aka people they don\’t know). So I was uninvited. Technically. It feels kind of insulting to be \”discarded\” like that. At least he had enough respect to call me and leave a message rather than wait until I am on AIM and at the last minute say that his friends wouldn\’t appreciate my presence (since his friends OBVIOUSLY don\’t know me).

But as always, I have backup plans. HELLO THANKSGIVING.

In high school, I never took physics. Instead, I took biology, chemistry and advanced placement biology, thinking that I was too good for little mathematical things like physics. I came into college with no experience beyond the little exposure I had in 8th grade of gravity and electrical circutis. As a result, I almost failed my first electrical engineering course.

And here I am again. I finished all the math requirements my first two years at Cal – discrete math and linear algebra (I already took calculus in high school). One of the recommended courses for my major was a stat course but I thought I was too good for that. That statistics were for the mathematically-challenged people and I would rather be tackling obscure proofs, Fourier analysis, heat-wave equation!

As it turns out, I am applying for the graduate HCII program in CMU. Today I realized that one of the \”prereqs\” is a statistics course. To try or not to try. If I try, this means I\’ll have to wake up every day next semester for class at 9 am. Sacrifice?

I am so complex. Just as complex as putting the right time on the VCR.

If you came to visit me in the San Francisco Bay Area, where would you want to go?

Maybe something like this?

Like my sister, I am missing so so so many things.

I miss jumping on ice plants just so that could make compost. I miss how my parents would take photos of me when I cried because they thought I was so cute. I miss taking the hikes into suburban wilderness. I miss playing with the \”river\” during the rainy seasons. I miss how I used to have Santa Workshops where I would spend hours each day working on Christmas presents. I miss reading Highlights. I miss creating a library of my own where I would lend and check in books to my sister.

I miss how we would have game nights upstairs in the play room. I miss how I would take my bike and go for an adventure. I miss how I thought my first \”novel\” was the greatest work of art ever completed. I miss how my sister and I would cook up a disaster in the kitchen. I miss the Gargoyles. I miss how my sister and I could spend 3 hours in the swimming pool doing nothing. I miss creating stories St. Nock and my sister\’s stuffed animals.

I miss my i-am-so-smart-i-don\’t-need-to-study attitude, because it was true. I miss doing well in Chinese school, because I always cheated and they knew I couldn\’t speak good Cantonese. I miss the potlucks I had during lunch. I miss how I used to always go to sleep before my mother came home. I miss driving, just to go driving. I miss how I used to be really easy-going. I miss the 6 guys I used to really know.

I miss going to the airport to pick you up. I miss how I was much more shy and never said anything and never got into trouble with people. I miss living closer to Soda Hall. I miss smiling about nothing. I miss how I used to be really funny. I miss going to a friend\’s place randomly and spontaneously. I miss how I spent 10 hours online, all worth every single minute. I miss going to sleep with flushed cheeks because I had just finished talking to you. I miss arriving hours early for appointments. And really, I miss you.

My parents recently signed up for the HBO. Just because it\’s $1/month for six months. There\’s about 6 different HBO channels. So yesterday night on Halloween I went home to Lafayette and spent 3 hours watching Sex and the City. Just to note, since our house is up a steep mini hill, no trick-or-treaters ever came to our door.